belonging to Jesus

The reformer in me is ever-tempted by the idea of a Ninety-Five Theses moment—a complete break from the ball of religion attached to my limbs by a chain of bureaucracy (in other words, your average Western church). What would it feel like to run—to set off at a sprint toward the finish line, cheered on by that Cloud of Witnesses, unencumbered by sin, guilt, law, fear, or any other unnecessary hindrance?

I have spent my life immersed in evangelicalism, in a variety of different local church bodies. The weight of religion seems to grow heavier over time, and I wonder if it’s because it didn’t feel like much of a burden when it gave me belonging. But what if conformity, not Christ, has been at the root of that belonging? Ever since I started seeking first the kingdom of heaven—sometimes at the expense of the “kingdom” of the church—the shackles of religion have become much more obvious.

When you belong, it’s so easy to believe that you’ve got it right. You are where you’re supposed to be, doing what you’re supposed to do. Your church must be approved by God, because you feel so at home there. But wait a second. Doesn’t that just mean your church is approved by . . . you?

I heard this quote recently for the first time, and it made me think:

Classically, there are three ways in which humans try to find transcendence—religious meaning—apart from God as revealed through the cross of Jesus: through the ecstasy of alcohol and drugs, through the ecstasy of recreational sex, through the ecstasy of crowds. Church leaders frequently warn against the drugs and the sex, but, at least in America, almost never against the crowds.

Eugene H. Peterson

When my sense of belonging began to erode, I noticed: I may have been substituting the ecstasy of being part of the crowd for the actual transcendence of being part of Christ’s body.

I may have been conflating going to church and doing “churchy” things with obedience. I may have been measuring my faithfulness by how many Sundays my butt was in the pew. I may have started making my faith about going somewhere once a week for two hours to play-act the perfect mix of smiling and submissive and vulnerable and guarded—not about being something, being an apprentice of Christ alone, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

When Jesus called His disciples, He didn’t say “Meet me at the synagogue on the Sabbath for an hour.” He said, “Follow Me.”

Starting here, now, wherever we are and wherever we go—and continuing indefinitely. And, importantly, doing it together, even when our backgrounds are beyond disparate, our personalities mix like oil and water, and our political differences would normally have us killing each other. That’s what being a disciple means.

That’s what being the Church means.

The ball and chain of religion would have us believe that “church” is a place we go with a bunch of people who look and sound and think exactly like us. That it’s an event we help make happen, not a body that we are an animating part of. It often pushes a certificate of church membership or confirmation like it’s a certificate of marriage, forgetting that biblically, we don’t marry a church; we are the Bride of Christ. Religion tries to pass off valuing conformity as treasuring the truth, gatekeeping ministry as protecting the body, and upholding legalism as fearing God.

The truth is something to treasure—so maybe we shouldn’t try to shut down truth-seekers for fear that they’ll find where our statement of faith doesn’t fully reflect God’s heart.

The body is something to protect—so maybe we shouldn’t try to silence and dismiss whole demographics within it that could provide a valuable voice and perspective on behalf of its vulnerable.

God is Someone to fear—so maybe we should consider how He will judge those who, like Pharisees, obstruct the entrance to the kingdom of heaven by paving the way instead toward kingdoms of this world. Jesus said of them: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut the kingdom of heaven in front of people; for you do not enter it yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in” (Matthew 23:13, emphasis added).

I’m not calling out any particular church I’ve been part of in the last 30 years. I’m pleading with all of them. All of us.

Unity does not, cannot, mean conformity to a particular denomination or set of secondary and tertiary doctrines. The goal isn’t to belong to a large and growing crowd, it’s to become one healthy body. Genuine unity can only come through recognizing Christ as the body’s Head—meaning, according to Ephesians, its Unifier. Only a central focus on the Messiah Jesus, His death and resurrection, and His kingdom can bind us together into one living and working and fruit-bearing organism.

Any “unity” achieved through legalistic conformity instead of the pursuit of Jesus will lead only to the (continued) mass fracturing of Christianity into a million tiny echo chambers. We can’t accomplish our mission in that state.

The call of the disciple is simple and difficult: She must deny herself, take up her cross, and follow Jesus.

Jesus, not a crowd.

Jesus, not a husband.

Jesus, not a pastor.

Jesus, not a denomination.

Jesus, not a political party, candidate, or policy platform.

Jesus, not a particular side of a culture war.

Belonging, while a vitally important aspect of human flourishing, is not a biblical metric for how well we’re doing this. Belonging—at least the kind that feels comfortable, confirms all our priors, and lets us come together to congratulate ourselves on our rightness week after week—may not be part of the deal.

We belong to Jesus, and no other.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

John 10:27-28

Genesis 1:2-5 (a meditation)

Now the earth was formless and void, darkness covered the surface of the watery depths, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” There was an evening, and there was a morning: one day.

- Genesis 1:2-5

SUGGESTED READINGS: Psalm 104, Isaiah 60:1-3, Mark 4:35-41, 2 Corinthians 4:1-6

“Let there be light.”

Let the voice of God, His Holy Breath, command darkness and chaos to retreat to their proper places. The uncreation state is not empty nothingness into which matter must be injected; it is a chaotic wasteland, from which order and abundance must be made. The chaos-taming, desert-farming, order-making God is the same One present with the disciples thousands of years into the earth’s future, sleeping serenely in the midst of the storm until they wake Him—and the תהו ובהו, the tohu va vohu, the formless void remembers His voice.

“Peace, be still.”

There is light before there are stars to produce it. There are days before there is a sun to dictate them. There is quietude before the storm should reasonably have been able to pass, because this world is under the authority of the King whose throne is on high, who “wraps Himself in light as with a garment”—not its own star-paths or weather patterns.

Elohim—the God-without-origin from Genesis 1:1—is also a God without fear. Chaos is no threat to Him. Darkness is no threat to Him. The best of Creation’s terrors and the worst of Uncreation’s desolation are just a breath away from being silenced and undone by His word; how much less can the evil deeds of a few rebellious men scare Him? How much less can the Enemy hope to prevail against Him?

Fearlessly He commands the darkness. Fearlessly He guides His people through the wilderness. Fearlessly He sleeps in the storm. Fearlessly He submits to His own execution.

He merely looks on the earth, and it trembles.

And it is good.

toward God's heart, part 6

This post is the conclusion of a series in which I’m answering a question I’ve gotten a lot lately: “Why have you changed your views on complementarian roles?” To return to the introduction to this series, click here.


The hard part about explaining my evolution and telling my story is that I know the first response of many people will be, “Okay, whatever, but it doesn’t matter because God said so.”

I understand that response. I believe wholeheartedly that what God says is far more important than anything that I will ever say. I love the Bible and have spent many years engrossed in it, meditating on it, learning everything I can from it. God’s Word is incredible. And if you believe that complementarian doctrine is what God commands you to live by, I would never want my opinion to supersede your conscience.

And—

God gave me a powerful brain.

God made me with fierce motherly instincts.

God lets us harvest the fruit our lives have grown, taste it for ourselves, and find out if it’s any good.

And God’s Word purposefully, beautifully reveals God’s heart for humanity through the big story of the Good News and what it means for the kingdom of heaven, for new creation.

I serve a very generous and personal God who created me in His image. My intelligence and intuition are gifts to use for His glory, not hazards to shut down out of fear. The Holy Spirit lives in me, the Risen Christ walks with me. I don’t have to be afraid to ask Him my honest questions and hear His answers because He won’t lead me astray. My Father is good, He cares about my lived experience, and His design for human flourishing (including women’s flourishing) is very good.

I don’t believe that His design is for us to slap a Christian label (complementarianism) onto a highly carnal impulse (chauvinism). In the best cases, the intention behind them is different, but the results are ultimately the same. If the high calling of those who would follow Jesus is to live as citizens of His kingdom now—not only in eternity future—then only genuine equality as God’s image bearers makes any sense. (Or do we expect that men will still be set above women in the next life…?)

You can’t read through the Bible over and over, as I have, and not begin to notice that God isn’t terribly interested in human power structures. He routinely chose to bless latter-born sons rather than firstborns, and do massive Kingdom work through children, foreigners, women, and (gasp!) even foreign women—passing over many more obvious choices from the adult Israelite male population. A teenage virgin and her barren, elderly cousin are the key players who set the stage for the births of the Messiah and the Messiah’s announcer—while Joseph is asked to submit his life and reputation to Mary’s mind-bending role, and Zechariah is silenced by God for his doubts about Elizabeth’s calling.

In the words of Jesus,

“But as for you, do not be called ‘Rabbi,’ because you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. Do not call anyone on earth your father, because you have one Father, who is in heaven. And do not be called masters either, because you have one Master, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You lock up the kingdom of heaven from people. For you don’t go in, and you don’t allow those entering to go in.”

Matthew 23:8-13

When we ask people to simply accept what they don’t understand and distrust their own insight, when we warn them away from asking questions and probing deeper “because God said so,” we aren’t doing them any favors. We are teaching them to be afraid. We are modeling that God is not powerful enough to withstand their curiosity, and communicating that He might turn out to be stupid or disinterested in them if they learn too much, after all. We are setting them up to be brainwashed or abused.

These are cult tactics, not discipleship.

When we require women to accept that God’s heart for them doesn’t apply in their real life because we refuse to embody it, we aren’t loving and honoring them as the Imago Dei. We are treating them as subhuman, a second class. We are proving that we do not believe in the power of the Good News to draw people—male and female—out of their fallen state and into the kingdom of God. We are hamstringing the church, both here and abroad.

This is anti-Christ, not Christian.

My God is not a fool. If the fruit of complementarian theology is rotten, then it does not originate in the good design of God. And my God is not weak; if the stunning sacrifice of His only Son can win the resurrection of my body into eternal life in the new creation, it can certainly win the resurrection of my soul into a new creation here and now. I don’t have to live on the nasty produce of the curse anymore unless I choose to do so.

And neither do you.

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit.”

Matthew 7:15-18