He is enough

It's miserably gray and wet today (again...), but they tell me sunshine is coming. I can't wait for those frosty-clear mornings when everything sparkles in the sunlight and I can see my breath swirling steadily before me. 

It's December.

For some, this is the best and happiest time of the year - they are the ones who rush out to get their Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving or start listening to Christmas music in October or post a countdown every day on Facebook. But for others, this is a broken, stressful, exhausting, or disappointing month that seems too long and makes them wonder, guiltily, if anyone else notices that they are not as happy as they "should" be.

I have been thinking a lot about that word, should. It is, according to its dictionary definition, "used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions."

And don't we use it a lot?

I should be more joyful. I should feel at peace. I should trust God. I should evangelize. I should be more like her. I should act less like him. 

Speaking for myself, I should have my house decorated for Christmas (but I don't). I should be at peace in spite of all the deadlines I have looming in the next two weeks (but I'm not). I should feel closer to God because it's Christmas (but I don't). I should pray every day (but I haven't been). I should have all 25 advent devotionals written by now (but they aren't).

Or perhaps yours sound more like - I should read my Bible every day, but I don't. I should read the Bible through, but I never have. I should be able to study it confidently, but I can't. 

The burden of "should"

The word should is a word of burden. It is the domain of guilt and death, the whitewashed tombs of the Pharisees. And yet it's deceptively attractive, because it makes us feel that there is some way we can earn our righteousness if only we do enough of what we "should."

I've been stuck in Should's trap for a few weeks, trying to navigate this calling to teach and just so overwhelmed by the size of the vision. And the inevitable byproduct of living by "should" is that I grow discontent, anxious, guilt-ridden, and useless to the actual work that God desires to do through me - because I'm so busy running around trying to make all the "shoulds" happen.

And I ask - where do we find the word "should" in God's invitation to participate in His story? Where is "should" in the Gospel?

Jesus didn't say, "I came to show them what they should be doing/being/saying/acting like" - He said, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10b).

Life - abundant life. That is the gift Jesus came to bestow. It is offered without duty or obligation or criticism attached. And no amount of shoulds could ever purchase that gift for us because it is a gift beyond all price - one that can only be accepted humbly and helplessly, or not at all.

Where do we find this life?

A thousand years before Christ ever came, David wrote,

The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. 
. . . You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalm 16:5-6, 11

These are the words of rest and freedom in a world burdened by shoulds. Can you hear David's delight in humbly and helplessly accepting Yahweh as his inheritance? This is no dirge of shoulds, for such a beautiful heritage is far beyond even the buying power of the man after God's own heart!

God is life, and life abundant. His presence is joy and satisfaction. He is the open-handed giver of all these things, if only we would helplessly and humbly receive.

So instead of saying "I should be more joyful/content/at peace/obedient/compassionate/___" why don't we go into His presence, look upon His character, and receive?

He is enough

We are not enough - not for Him, not for His work or His desire or His call. We are sinful and lacking and disobedient and inconsistent. But the answer is not a list of "shoulds" - it's Him. He is enough, and He has graciously purchased our gaps and our failures and filled them in with His blood, with Himself.

I don't want to stoop under Should's burden when I have been invited to take the hand of God in the path of life. The stressful Christmas preparations, the not-so-great attitudes, the quiet times that aren't actually happening... all of these guilty shoulds become so small and so powerless when subjected to the truth of life abundant - the truth of who God is as our beautiful and priceless Inheritance.

In a few weeks, we celebrate the birth of the Messiah. He laid aside all His inherent rights and riches as the Son of God to come and give us abundant life. So let's walk in it.